Personality traits and the characteristics of introversion and extroversion have always been a fascination to me since we did an exercise using MBTI personality types at work. As an extrovert, I have never considered the power of introversion until Susan Cain published her ground-breaking book analyzing the pitfalls of the “Extrovert Ideal” and the value of introverts in a world that favours extroversion as the preferred character trait. Whether you identify as an extrovert, introvert, or ambivert — this book is persuasive, timely and a heartfelt exposition into the power of introverts in an excessively loud and gregarious society.
Cain seeks to overturn what is called the “Extrovert Ideal”, where Western cultures are dominated by the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is “gregarious, alpha and comfortable in the spotlight.” It was eye-opening to discover that the preference of action over contemplation is so pervasive in modern society, effectively devaluing introverts in a world that excessively and misguidedly respects extroverts. As an introvert, Cain presents an intriguing but not altogether surprising argument that introversion (along with sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness) is a second class personality trait with introverts living in the extrovert ideal likened to women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. This struck a chord with me as I had always believed Extroversion to be an appealing personality style, but never one that would be turned into an oppressive standard to which most people must conform.
This book is truly a love letter to the reading public (who are mostly introverts); Cain combines gentle analysis with empowerment for all introverts who adopt the ‘pseudo-extrovert’ persona in order to fit into a societal construct. Her research into the dangers of collective thinking and brainstorming was particularly insightful — she cites physiological evidence showing that when people (not just introverts) oppose group consensus, their brains’ amygdalae “light up”, signaling fear of rejection which subsequently discourages potentially valuable contributions to the group. Brainstorming is often an exercise that favours groupthink with people instinctively mirroring the most charismatic, well-spoken, and dominant individual’s ideals (usually an extrovert). Cain’s conclusion that people are more creative when they enjoy privacy and freedom free from interruption rather than enforced teamwork is a shining beacon of hope and positivity for introverts everywhere.
What is striking about Cain is her ability to balance the philosophizing and references to psychological academia with “life coaching” conventions. Some of the most memorable lines from the book arise from her lived experience as an extreme introvert rather than psychobabble. She encourages the reader to “spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to” and “everyone shines; given the right lighting” to instigate a common understanding for us all to stay true to our own nature. Her advice is charming and important, one of my favourite quotes from the book is the reminder that “love is essential; gregariousness is optional” — at the end of the day, we all want to be happy and loved but it’s truly a matter of quality over quantity.
Cain’s suggestions on how to redress the balance and make the world a little more introvert-friendly are interestingly cautious and pleasantly considered. She acknowledges that in order for us to make meaningful contributions to the world, it may require public speaking or networking or other activities that make introverts feel uncomfortable however it is crucial to do them anyway and accept it is difficult. She condemns the common misconception that all introverts are shy and socially awkward by emphasizing that “Introverts may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they want to be home in their pajamas”, disrupting the predominantly extroverted temperament of our culture which dismisses introversion as somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. She provides practical solutions for workplaces such as a balanced layout with open-plan spaces for discussions and nooks/crannies for quiet reflection — this considered and logical approach highlights Cain’s brilliance and practicality.
Cain’s writing also paves the path for meaningful and open communication between Extroverts and Introverts. Prior to reading this book, I would often find myself bewildered over the ideas and actions (or more accurately— inaction) of my introverted friends — why not put your hand up for this presentation? Why not take a stance publicly against injustice and corruption? Why agonize over the consequences rather than being decisive with your actions?
The lightbulb moment for me was when Cain wrote:
Introverts need to trust their gut and share their ideas as powerfully as they can… ideas can be shared quietly, they can be communicated in writing, packaged into highly produced lectures, and advanced by allies. The trick for introverts is to honour their own styles instead of allowing themselves to be swept up by prevailing norms.
There are many golden nuggets of enlightenment in this book, Cain’s quiet yet firm stance against the perceived societal hierarchy where Extroversion sits at the top is introspective and eloquent. She believes that the indoctrination of extroversion in sentiments such as “being great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable” is inherently damaging and leads to us losing sight of who we really are (given one third to one-half of people are introverts). Further, her praise for the gifts of introverts is heartwarming and genuine, she writes that introverts have “the power of persistence, the tenacity to solve complex problems and the clear-sightedness to avoid pitfalls”. Respect for individual human personality is long overdue and Cain is the perfect person to initiate the discussion to restore equilibrium between divergent personality traits.
Ultimately, this book is joyous, gratifying, and acts as a catalyst for our society to recognize the value of introversion as equal if not more significant than extroversion. Cain’s writing is persuasive, invigorating, and brilliant in weaving a path of reconciliation and understanding between us as human beings.
After all, who could be truly happy in a world of only podiums and microphones?
