Book Review: We should all be feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Feminism is a loaded word that invites much controversy and critique from men and women alike, at its core — to be a feminist means to establish and achieve the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. There have been many social movements, political demonstrations, and heated debates over feminism when it should be a natural and logical ideology for everyone to strive for. Chimamanda’s extended essay published in the book format “We should all be feminists” is a short but profound read, reflecting on the ideas presented in her TED talk of the same name. Here is why we should all dedicate an hour of our day to read this book.
Chimamanda’s voice is powerful and introspective from the get-go, she ruminates on a personal anecdote of a friend who labeled her a feminist with the same tone as one would say ‘You’re a supporter of terrorism.’ So begins her reflection on the irreverent attitude society has upheld against any women or men who dare associate themselves with feminism. In Chimamanda’s culture (as in many cultures around the world), her feminist voice is deemed a reflection of her unhappiness and anger because she could not find a husband. There remain immense dissent and vehement disagreement against the feminist movement, the word “feminist” is associated with angry, men-hating women who are bitter and unable to be loved by men. This warped misconception of feminism is explained by Chimamanda concisely, “gender, as it functions today, is a grave injustice. I am angry. We should all be angry.”
At the core of this essay is the struggle of achieving a theoretically simple concept of equality between the sexes. The normalization of patriarchy and deference to the fragility of the male ego is captured with eloquence by Chimamanda, who reflects that “if we keep seeing only men as heads of corporations, it starts to seem ‘natural’ that only men should be heads of corporations.” In the corporate environment, the higher you go, the fewer women there are and this is the inequality which all of us must confront and address. Women are expected to be docile and gentle, any sign of anguish or expression of an unpopular but necessary opinion is deemed “threatening” or “aggressive”. Chimamanda captures this invisible silencing of women with an anecdote of a friend who didn’t want to speak up because she didn’t want to seem aggressive, isn’t it ironic that assertiveness is seen as a desirable trait in men but threatening and aggressive for women? This is why feminism matters.
The most important takeaway from this book is that the inequality between the sexes is a societal and cultural construct, which has been ingrained and passed on through generations by the way we raise our children. refer below for my favourite quote from the book:
We say to girls, ‘You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise, you will threaten the man. If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man, pretend that you are not.
How incredibly disheartening that we do such an enormous disservice to the autonomy of women, society has conditioned us to raise girls to cater to the fragile egos of males. Women are taught from birth that there is nothing worse than the emasculation of men who are brought up to be afraid of fear, weakness, or vulnerability — their “toughness” directly enhancing their fragile egos. In turn, women are taught to silence themselves, to always hold their tongue on how they truly think — as Chimamanda writes, this has allowed women to ‘turn pretense into an art form’.
For any woman reading this, how many times have you been told that your intelligence, ability, and opinions are too aggressive, too loud, too distracting, too divergent from the male voices in the room? In my experience, I have often found that the people who applauded me for my assertiveness, intellect, and capability are the same people who have told me that I am too intimidating, too loud, and too abrasive. If you are wondering whether I live with anxiety about being perceived as intimidating to men — of course, I don’t, because the type of man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the type of man that I have no interest in.
It is time for us to recognize the error of making women feel as though by being born female, they are already guilty of something. Chimamanda states:
The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations.
This extended essay is crucial not because I want you all to become feminists but because the achievement of social, political, and economic equality of the sexes is critical to cultural advancement and global evolution. The exclusion and under-representation of women in every aspect of our lives are doing a disservice for the cultural, economic, political, and social progression of humanity. Chimamanda writes that part of the problem is that many men do not actively think about or notice gender, however, it is imperative to include the full humanity of women in our culture. The unrealized contribution of women must be recognized, people drive culture and when we have historically divided human beings into groups then proceeded to oppress and disenfranchise women — the solution to the problem first requires acknowledgment.
Whether you are a feminist or believe in upholding the patriarchy, this book is for you. It will present a powerful, crucial, and perhaps somewhat uncomfortable perspective on the injustice and inequality between the sexes. But I believe that it’s time for us to ask the uncomfortable questions so that we can begin to establish the possibilities of connection and understanding to bridge the gap of the differences in our opinions. It is time for us, men and women, to do better.
